Is there anybody going to listen to my story?

I hate writing about myself, 'cause that would mean I'd have to get in contact with my emotions, and they're are all so new to me. Other than sadness, it's the only one I'm very familiar with. I hate it. It sneaks up on me, no controlling it. I try to always smile when it hurts the most, but when I smile, I only hurts more. I feel lonely, sad, cold, unwanted. Why? Cause I need my family. My dad's leaving me for 4 days.. like I don't see him enough as it is. He's always at work and the cafe, even when I see him, I miss him, I never get to spend any time with him. Since he's leaving tomorrow, I decided to ask him to play some card with me, after 15 minutes of playing, he got tired and requested to go to bed. I'm not the boss of him, and after all, he has to wake up early for work tomorrow, I understand. As for my brother.. Who the fuck is my "brother"? He's just a blood related  family member. It hurts so much that we don't have a normal sister-brother relationship.
A friend and I were talking today, and she made me realize so much within myself, that something's wrong with me. Not directly, but there is a part missing, a part of my brain, a part of me. She can relate, which is why I love talking to her, she understands where I'm coming from. She's a really empathetic, caring and inspiring person,  I want us to talk more, cause I feel better when we do. You're a wonderful human being