Hang my head, drown my fear, till you all just disappear

Note to self

I want to take this unbelievable feeling of joy, and simply embrace it to the fullest. I simply need to remember it. I'm sick of writing about misery, even though that's my main inspiration when it comes to writing. I've always believed that this world is a misery even at my happiest. At this point, I don't want to think that way anymore. I want to continue this positive out look on life. Noticing every good factor, rather than the bad. Joy is my sober way of being high, I feel stimulated with pure and utter happiness, and who could ask for more?

I think I'm going to do just fine (Y)

"You're growing up. And rain sort of remains on the branches of a tree that will someday rule the Earth. And it's good that there is rain. It clears the month of your sorry rainbow expressions, and it clears the streets of the silent armies... so we can dance."

The organ of my imagination has dried up

Snow parachuting from above shooting right into the shivering shaking bones within my flesh. I need to get away, far far away. It's all the same, what's here is there. Nothing more, nothing less. If I could go anywhere, it would be to escape somewhere with no gravity, nor to have a sense of purpose to where I have to go, nor where I have to  be. Be free from all, stuck with my own worst enemy.. How intriguing.
I want to live in a cloud. Melt my soul within the particles, enhance my vision, hearing and touch.
Now my heads pouncing in all directions. Pain, yet happiness from within. Hope. Razor sharp glass screeching across the boundaries of my scull. Delirious and belligerent, unaware of who nor where I am. Pain and confusion overtakes every area of my body. It's the glass, it cracked, and was seconds away from shattering my life away.
I want my black diamonds back, the beauty I've been mission out on. Jump right into those black holes and drift, drift, drift away. It's official, I've become insane.
I'm at my great escape, yet I haven't moved an inch. It's the fear of failure along with success. At this point I'm on a simple quest to find the answers to all my rhetorical questions.
Stimulate my mind with artificial chemicals to soothe my soul.
Huston, we've got a problem. I'm not okay, I'm not high, but I wish I was.

Fool me

Why is it that on an every day basis people choose not to accept the negativity that can come their way? People keep tricking themselves until they're no longer in reality. It's happened to me, it's happening to me now. Just by writing this, in the back of my mind it's telling me, I'll feel relieved after wards, but bottom line we're all gonna die. No one wakes up thinking "Yes! Bring on the day, and let death come with it!" I don't really know what I'm getting at, but I fool myself too often, to the point where it's a shame, but in the end everything is. We are all bias, judgmental, prejudice, stereotypical fools.