Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Eternal sunshine of the fucked up mind.

This concept has left me wandering.
Devote emotions to the soul, yet devise them in the mind.
This persona I've developed.. Is it even a persona?
I'm frazzled, literally, everything feels too real, surreal.
People judge too quick, why?
Open-mindedness is what I desire, give all a chance,
give all respect, even those whom degrade themselves in all.
Why? I don't know.
Alright, so why am I writing this?
Right right, I have secrets, that are keeping me sick.
Maybe by letting them out here, it will help a tad.
There's a hole within my soul.
I need to fill it with artificial materialistic things to get some sort of satisfaction.
I am obsessive and compulsive.
I am as always confused, like a lost puppy wandering the streets.
Everything's so new to me, but I like it.
Anything to get away from my eerie past.
I have a fear of telling people I'm a drug addict, and all the other shit that's gone down in my life.
They'll run the other direction, I know it.
Why would they want to stick around a crazy fucked up person like me?
They wouldn't.
Not only am I self-destructive, but I destruct all around me, not intentionally.
This guy.. I want to cut it off, but I know I'm just over thinking things,
I'm not exactly myself right now. I'll regret it if I do choose to do anything.
Incidentally, I'm fucked, and will continue to sail along my lake of miserably joys.

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