Wow, 90 days already.. Well 91 now, yet only synthetic happiness is present. Can't I be genuinely happy for a change? Perchance this is a blessing in disguise. These past 2 years of pure agony could possibly outburst in consistent happiness. Life's not like that though. It's redundant, and confusing. Maybe I just need to stop complicating things so much. I like complication though, it makes life somewhat more interesting. It get's annoying though. I'm not sane, not sane at all. I'm honestly considering signing myself into a psyche-ward at this point. I don't think that would help though. I'm not being grateful, that's it. No gratitude. When I wake up, I'll have to be grateful, maybe then, just then I'll be happier. Let's wait and see.